Whod you bang
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
