I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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