He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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