I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
