Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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