I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
