all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I have already put on my inside pants.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
