Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
