I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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