I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
