Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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