She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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