Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
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The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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