So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Duck Duck Cougar?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
