yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize