Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
