I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
