You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
