Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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