i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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