Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
