fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
