It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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