i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Randomize
