The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
