Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
