is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
