Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
