We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The air was thick with penises
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
