so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Panties = found
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
