They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize