Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I lost the right to judge tonight
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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