He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
