She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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