I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
