Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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