If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize