girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
