saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
