This girl is more easily done than said...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
