He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Couch. On fire.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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