i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
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