Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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