did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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