are you so shy because you have an std?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
