i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
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His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
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this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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