After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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