I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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