She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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