And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
