my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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