His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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