It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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