i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
