did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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