Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
