Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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