You don't have asthma, your pregnant
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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