Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
