and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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