we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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