Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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