i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
