Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
