Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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