I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
