i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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