Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
