she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
